Meet Your Wise Mind

In between hot-headed decisions (Emotion Mind), and calm, logical problem-solving (Reasonable Mind), there is this place called Wise Mind. I've copied a diagram from the book to show where it sits. I do wonder whether it feels a little hemmed in. But that's not the point.

I'm now feeling a bit worried that I won't understand this, but the authors explain it well. They say -

'Wise Mind’ is a bit tricky to describe because it is going to look different for every person in any situation. One of the most common types of experiences of Wise Mind occurs when you're really distressed and feeling an emotion intensely and still react in a way that effectively balances your short and long-term goals.'

I had to turn to Linehan's weighty Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder for some extra description here. Just so I can really try to get it. She says that Wise Mind 'adds intuitive knowing to emotional experiencing and logical analysis.'

I don't think I've applied Wise Mind to much in my life except health choices. It was a long battle to give up smoking, but I persevered because I was scared of what might happen if I didn't quit. I also didn't want an expert telling me, much later in life, that I'd chosen to carry on with something that was so clearly not in my best interests. I smoked partly because of anxiety. Not smoking made me anxious. In between these two states, Wise Mind must have helped me. But I know I struggle to apply Wise Mind to my problematic attachments, my isolation, and to my fear of the future.

It's clearly going to be an endeavour.

Linehan advises -

'Borderline patients have to learn how to access 'Wise Mind.' In effect, they have to let go of emotional processing and logical analyses, of set ideas and extreme reactions; they must become calm enough to allow wise knowing to proceed uncomplicated and unintruded upon by other, more volitional ("Reasonable Mind") or overdetermined (Emotion Mind") modes of knowing."

Bloody hell, this is complicated. But well worth grappling with.