Third Exercise- Participate One-Mindfully
Okay, so I've just woken up, and having had one shot of Symprove, and two coffees, I'm going to try the next exercise.
This exercise is about being at one with the experience (or being a in a flow state). More on flow states here -
I don't find myself in a flow state often, or for long, but I can reach one when colouring. For me it's something about pen meeting paper, and the concentration involved.
Anyway, let's try this exercise. I need to take 3 to 5 deep breaths, and then write the alphabet down in reverse order.
Okay, I've done it. Horrible exercise. You're meant to notice negative thoughts that appear as you do the task, and then return your attention to finding the right letter. But what if, I keep thinking, someone asked me to do this on stage in front of hundreds of people? I couldn't do it. Somebody else could, though, and that's the type of person who's always bullied me. This is a cruel exercise, I think, and the authors of the book are sadists.
But, in the service of my blog, and the management of my emotions, I press on.
Second attempt- I take 3 to 5 slow breaths (maybe of resignation) before I begin. This goes much better, and I don’t think so much about the bullies from my past.
Next task - count backwards in 7s from 200 with mindful focus and write the list down. Not much fun. My mind wandered away to things linked to maths that were actually more about interpersonal relationships. How stupid you were then, I tell myself, except you still are, I add, just to reinforce the message, whilst trying to count backwards.
Final exercise - I'll be glad to have this done with - alternate the reverse alphabet with counting down from 200 (and intersperse with self-recriminations).
Done. I find myself thinking about my current therapist, and times in the past when I felt lost in a desert.
'Congratulations', the authors say, 'you just experienced Participating One-Mindfully!'
That's good, I think, and turn the page.