What Comes Next?

Phew, I’ve made it to the end. I may not have done all the homework, but I’ve got through the first round. I am officially a DBT work in progress. Most days now I practice opposite action when depressed, go to the gym, try very hard to radically accept, do my best to make the day better and aim to be gentle in my interactions. I find I feel desperate less often (good), and don’t go round in circles so much. I’m also more proactive, and generally have a bit more grit.

On the downside, I still get very upset by rejection and my anxiety levels are actually higher now because I’m busy trying to get more things right. I also worry a lot about the future. But these still feel easier issues to manage (more concrete, somehow) than my previous crazy attachments to assorted unavailable people. And where I once would have relished the challenge of a really difficult person, I now leave well alone. This is progress.

I’m very aware that much of what I’ve written in these posts can read like neurotic nonsense, and yet I’m sure it’s the only way to approach the workbook. If I didn’t worry in the particular way I do, layering anxieties and reproaches on top of one another like a club sandwich, well, I wouldn’t need this book. And I do think the club sandwich holds together a bit better now. It may all be in the bread.

One of the great strengths of DBT is that it offers strategies with realistic provisos. So you always feel you have somewhere safe to perch, even if you’re in the middle of the storm. And, as I’ve now realised, not making things worse (and even trying to make them a bit better) is one of the key parts of the therapy. It’s tough, of course, in circumstances where you can’t make any headway. But even here, the skill of Radical Acceptance can help massively.

So this is only the beginning of the story. The authors suggest going through the book at least twice, and those who attend DBT skills groups usually do two rounds.  It’s just a shame that there aren’t more skills groups out there, and at affordable prices. But this book has been a great find. I’d recommend it to anyone.

The appendix has some useful resources, including The Five Options for Solving Any Problem which I’ll cover separately.

A final note from the authors –

“We hope that this book is only the beginning of your DBT journey! In our personal and professional experience, the benefits of reviewing, practicing, and using DBT skills only grow over time – even over the course of several years. We’re confident that the more you utilize the tools and resources we’ve provided, the more you will be able to build your own personal Life Worth Living.”