Eighteenth Exercise: Create a Distress Tolerance Kit

“When we’re really distressed, we’re often not thinking clearly, and it can be hard to remember new coping skills. Set yourself up for success by creating a Distress Tolerance kit that will be ready and waiting for you to use the next time you’re in crisis.”

I have no idea what I’d put in my kit. Chocolate? Red wine? But the idea here is to choose things that link to the crisis strategies of ACCEPTS, Self-Soothing and IMPROVE. So I need to be thinking along the lines of things that help me tolerate distress and reduce any impulse to make matters worse.

I need to also find a receptacle for these objects (a tin? basket?) and put it in a special place so it’s at hand when I need it. If I’m travelling, I might create a digital kit.

Frankly, I can’t do any of this yet. My reliable skills at the moment are just two –

go a for a walk (that’s the STOP skill)

try not to make anything worse (I think that’s also a STOP skill, though I may need to check back).

Last week I had a tricky incident, and I just went for a walk. It was only later in the day, or even the week, that I felt I could look at what happened without anxiety or pain.

So for now, my non-existent Distress Tolerance Kit contains the idea of  a walk, perhaps some chocolate,  some fresh air, and definitely texting a confidante later in the day to replay what’s happened. And also an imaginary dog or cat.

But maybe that’s okay, because the authors say “Whatever your kit is, know it is always a work in progress.”